Black and White and Green

So you know all this talk about patience--it's been on my brain, among other things. So last month, for the entire month of May, I decided to do something about it. I gave myself a challenge, which became our challenge, as Jacob was so good to comply, but I was the one who needed it. I did it to test myself.

I am one of those people that lives very happily in black and white. I'm the kind of person that loves directions, traffic lights, commandments--things that tell me exactly where to go and what to do and when. And I thrive in that environment. No guess work! What could be simpler?! I have a lot of trouble with gray. Gray requires a lot of decision-making, something I've never been very successful at doing concisely--because I never want to be wrong because I never want to make a mistake . . . but that's another topic.

So last month, for the entire month, I decided to live in black and white with our green. I decided I would not spend a single dollar on anything Jacob and I didn't NEED. Eek! I've heard of people doing this, but again, determining wants from needs was gray area to me so I always shied away. But this time I was determined. We wanted to see on how little we could live and how much we could save in a month if we really dedicated ourselves to that goal. Jacob and I decided to do this together and we called it a financial fast. We treated it just as any fast, complete with prayer and faith that it would be to our benefit, both financially and otherwise.

Here were the needs:
Rent
Utilities
Food
Gas/Parking
Necessary toiletries (which did not include things like lipgloss or lotion--I had enough to last me--but toothpaste, contact solution, etc.)
Tithing/Fast offering
Charitable donations
Work-related expenses (an example of this would have been printing business cards, getting paper for the printer, which didn't come up, happily.)

The wants we cut out :
Eating out (including fast food and snacks from vending machines. No joke.)
Leisure that required any sort of cost aside from the gas it would take to get there i.e. no movies, no ward Bunko night (which was $5), no golfing, no clothes shopping, no iTunes $0.99 singles, nothing.

Then, of the things we determined as needs, we tried to cut down those costs as much as possible. For example, how low could we make our grocery bill? What can we use or make as gifts and thank yous to people without spending additional money? Are we totally and completely out of the "need" item and is there something that we have that we can use in its place for a period of time before we buy its replacement?

Here are just a few of the things we learned in that department:
Jacob learned how to make our produce stay fresh twice to three times as long.
We ate less meat at our meals.
We went to the cheapest grocery store around, bought generic, and cut our grocery bill by 40%, without coupons and without feeling deprived. We cut it by 60% one week by cutting out ANY snack foods or baking items, but that left us and our cupboards feeling a little bare.
We sent cards (I had a good stash already) and we baked bread and cookies and crocheted or sewed for gifts and thank yous.
We used it all the way up, even if we weren't fans of that salsa, before buying another jar.

As for the bigger stuff we learned:

• Heavenly Father takes care of his children. We were not only able to meet our "needs" but we earned enough last month to save an additional month's rent and then some. Heavenly Father blessed us with unexpected work opportunities, like me nannying for a friend on bed rest and playing Muno again for a Yo Gabba Gabba event, that gave me particularly a lot of faith in Heavenly Father's looking out for us.
• I have a lot. A LOT. Being home instead of at the store helped me look around and see what I HAVE instead of what I didn't. Look at this pretty jewelry I already have. Look at this delicious food. Look at these pretty pens and cards. This comfy bed. These pretty plants. This beautiful sunshine. And we did a ton of fun things that were free: I loved playing the piano everyday, we took walks, we went to the library, the beach, I sewed and crocheted, gave myself pedicures, we cooked together, baked bread, watched movies, played games, went to the temple and church activities (which are free!)
• I can get creative. I thought about things differently. If I was bored with what I was wearing, I'd go digging and put other things together I hadn't thought of before. A scarf in May, why not? There were times when we were trying to fix things and Jacob would name something he thought he needed to fix it and we would try and we would brainstorm what we had that we could use instead. Wood glue would be better, but Gorilla Glue will work! And the brainstorming worked every time.
  
• I can wait. In the times when I was at the store and did see something I "wanted," I learned I could wait. This was a lesson taught to me in part by a pair of sandals that I bought last year at a discount store (I've always bought discount to begin with, contrary or not to popular belief.) Here they were, one year later, at a store where things do NOT reappear, for 10 bucks less than I paid for them a year earlier. What do you know? Whatever I "wanted" would be there later or it wouldn't, but if I waited, I could get what I wanted on my terms. This is where being picky comes in handy for me. If it's not EVERYTHING I'm looking for, it's okay, because I can wait. Because this fast has helped me learn patience. Hooray!
  

So, in all the wisdom I've attained in the last month, which is a surprisingly great deal, truly, I'm still no genius. The hardest part has been trying to adjust back into that darn gray area now that our fasting is over. It's not as easy math as counting calories because our income is unpredictable, something else I hope to eventually conquer, with patience. I think the last year and a half has taught me a lot of things, mainly that "things" are not what makes me me or makes me happy. Ovens and dishwashers and brand names are not who I am. One of the best "things" about this last month was the time and service I was able to give to others, and realizing I could certainly spend a lot more time focusing outward. That I do want to be a part of who I am. That is what makes me happy.