Thankful Heart

You know, those who know me best know that this year hasn't been the easiest for our little family, or for this little mama in particular.  And those who know me best also know that I speak my mind about things pretty heartily, so to some of you I've probably broadcast that message loud and clear.  But tonight, I feel my heart is full of things for which I'm grateful, and as hard as certain things have been, and as much as I feel justified in complaining in certain areas, I thought on this eve of Thanksgiving, God deserved to hear me mention in writing how grateful I am for my beautiful life and for all He has blessed me with, which is so very much.

I am so grateful for my family, the one I came from, the one I married into, and the one I am making.  I am so grateful for loving parents who are still involved in my life and call, come to visit, offer love, help, and support in ways I cannot possibly fully express my gratitude for.  They are my guardian angels.  They are literally the answer to many of my prayers, and I don't know what I would do without them.  I'm quickly approaching my thirties, and as I'm starting to raise children of my own, I know like never before just what a sacrifice it was for them, and the enormous blessing it is for me now to have parents who are devoted to loving me and bringing happiness and comfort any way they can--still, after all these years.  

I am so grateful to have not one, but TWO sets of wonderful grandparents for my lucky son.  I am so grateful to Jacob's parents--to his father, whose birthday is today, for loving Jacob's mother so well and showing his four boys the purest example of loyalty, patience, temperance, service, and love in living his life as he has.  He and his sweet wife have raised some pretty amazing kids, and I'm so grateful not only to be married to one, but for the wonderful aunts, uncles, cousins, and brothers and sisters-in-law that Jasper and I also have as a result of their hard work.  

I am so grateful to have a home and delicious, healthy food to eat.  I have never in my life spent a night cold or hungry.  I have always had a warm bed to sleep in, food on my table, and clothes on my back.  I currently have a fridge full of yummy food that we will share with friends around a big table tomorrow and we'll have enough for everyone and to spare and that is huge.  I have a closet full of clothes that fit me and make me feel beautiful when I wear them, and I have the same for my husband and my son.  My husband has so many shirts that I feel it is a burden to iron them!  My son has enough pajamas that I can choose between the "cool" ones and the "warm" ones for him to wear to bed!  I cannot say the smallest part of how grateful I am that I can offer food, clothes, toys, books, a bed, and a room for our son. Through our own means, through the loving help of family and friends, and through the help of the Lord, we are so, so blessed in these things.

I am so enormously and eternally thankful for my husband and my son.  I am so thankful for the blessings of the temple, for my understanding and belief in the gospel of Jesus Christ.  I am so thankful for the opportunity and promise of an eternal family, and the love that we have the opportunity to share in this life and hereafter.  I am so thankful to have known Jacob for so much of my life, for the friend and model of patience and love he has been to me as long as I've known him.  He is long-suffering, especially with me as I continually prove to know how to test him.  He is hard-working to a fault.  He is a believer, a dreamer, a lover and a fighter in the best possible way.  He is an incredible husband, a wonderful example and playmate and caretaker to our son.  He is a joy to be around, he is one of the most caring and selfless people I know, and he doesn't like anyone to know about it.  He is my true love and life is what it is to me because he is in it.  I will love him and be thankful to him forever for giving me the greatest gift in both of our lives, our son.  If my blessings were to begin and end with that child, it would be enough to fill many, many lifetimes.  It is the greatest honor of my life to be his mother, and to share the privilege of raising him with my sweet husband.  He brings more joy and purpose and fulfillment to my life than his tiny, innocent lion heart can possibly understand, and that is what I love so much.  I feel God's love when I look at him, when I hug him, when I read him a bed time story.  I have had a lifetime of joy in the 17 months exactly that he has been in my life and I thank the Lord from the depths of my heart for every precious moment we have him, because they are all precious.  Even the tough ones.  Precious, precious gifts.   

I am thankful for the many, many friends, teachers, and leaders I have and have had in the course of my life, and for all they have done to uplift me, encourage me, and make me better.  I am so grateful for the power of prayer and that I can pray for anything, big or small, and know that God is there and He is listening.  I am grateful for the answered prayer I had today in finding Jasper's missing Sunday shoes (hidden by the little rascal in the fireplace!) and I hope the missing gray sweatshirt of his I've been praying to find also shows up soon. 

I am thankful to be thankful, because it's so much better than the alternative, and tonight I have felt a peaceful closeness to the spirit.  I am thankful, in this moment, to feel LOVE. 

Happy, happy Thanksgiving!